Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Flare: A Day of IC

Up until just barely (bless new meds), I have been in the worst flare of my life.  Since this is my journal, I figured I should remember what it was like - just in case I'm ever tempted to stop taking the medication.

It's 3 am and I awaken to find myself crying.  I realize the Tylenol PM only got me 3 hours of sleep and were they real?  I roll over to try to move my shaking legs off the bed to get to the bathroom.  My bladder is in spasm and I know that I've got to get there quickly.  I stand up only to collapse right back to the floor as my head spins from the onslaught of pain.  I crawl to the couch at the foot of my bed, and use my arms to slowly hoist myself back to standing.  I make my way to the bathroom always gripping the wall, the chair, the towel rod.  I fall to my knees and vomit into the toilet.  The shaking and pain were just too much for my weak stomach.  Finally I sit down.  I feel like a small child about to have an accident, but I just can't get things flowing.  I'm cramping; I'm crying; I'm pushing; I'm failing at relaxing for 10 minutes.  Eventually fire - stinging, burning liquid - comes out in tiny drops.  20 minutes later I feel done and stumble back to bed.  I'm sweating, shaking, but relieved.

I can't get comfortable.  I still feel like I'm going to have an accident.  I know I won't, but my body is telling me differently.  Time to ignore: ignore the urgency, ignore the shaking stomach, ignore my nerves that are firing in my legs that are telling me to get up and RUN to the bathroom.  I turn on a cooking show and the heating pad.  4:30 am and I'm finally asleep.

It's 5:15 and the need to urinate awakens me again.  This time I successfully stumble to a sitting position in the bathroom.  This time it only takes me 15 minutes of torture until I'm back in bed.  I'm back awake at 6:45 and I turn off the alarm to awaken Laura at 7:00 for school and head back to the bathroom, but this time I turn on the light.  The bowl is pink with blood.  I take note of the time and begin my day.

Yes, it's going to be a timing day.  I decide on 45 minutes.  I only allow myself to go to the bathroom once every 45 minutes.  (Just the right amount of time to succeed more quickly without being in too much pain and not so often that my whole day isn't spent there.)  The moment I stand up from finishing my body screams that I need to run back.  My brain knows differently, so I'll time it.  I'm distracted and not as patient or productive as I would like to be throughout the day, but I survive until carpool.

One of the kids is late.  I've been in the car almost an hour by the time we get back and I'm crazy.  After pulling into the garage I gingerly walk the extra feet to my bedroom bathroom because I don't want the kids to worry.  I kneel before I sit.  I cry while I sit.  I don't want to, but I can't stop.  Then the timing begins again.

I am exhausted and climb into bed at 10.  By 10:15 I haven't fallen asleep, so I figure I might as well go just once more so I hopefully can sleep a little longer before the sensation of urgency awakens me again.  My legs are shaking from nerves raw from the pain.  My bladder is spasming so much that Jason can feel it through my stomach.  At 10:35 I go to the bathroom again.  After an 11:05 trip to the bathroom I take a sleeping pill.  One more trip at 11:40.  Maybe I'll get more than 3 hours tonight....

Monday, January 23, 2012

Disneyland: Jan 2012

We went to Disneyland the second week of January. Oh, how we love Disneyland. Eventually, I'll get a movie made because the girls adore the movies and watch them regularly. For now, though, here's a picture of our fun!
The weather was perfect. The crowds weren't bad. We got to see lots of family and even friends there; which makes every trip 1,000 times better. Oh, it was great and we're all ready to go back!!
We caught up with Steph, Larry and Kids for an evening!
J's brother Bret and his daughter spent 2.5 days in the park with us
Scott and Carly caught up with us in the park for a while
We all met up with my brother Danny's new fiance Kelli and all their kids for dinner

Girl Pictures: Jan 2012

We went to Costco on Saturday. They had just put out the Easter dresses for little girls. I found one with sleeves and immediately purchased three. Yay, for finding a matching dress in a serious variety of sizes.

Since Laura had to have a new headshot for an audition this week, I figured it was time to take new pics of ALL the girls. I love being able to take them at home. I believe that it gives me significantly better pictures, with significantly less stress. My favorites of the three girls:
My favorites of Eliza:
My favorites of Sara:
My favorites of Laura, plus the new headshot:

Friday, January 20, 2012

Wedding: Hannah and Kaylun

Okay, we're old. We have married nieces/nephews on both sides of the family now. Jason's oldest niece Hannah got married at the end of December. We didn't make it to the morning events due to Eliza conking me a good one to the nose (I bled for 30 minutes, went through an entire box of tissues, had a screaming headache for the rest of the day, and couldn't touch my nose for a week) and Jason leaving work for his weekly kickoff the next workday. But, we made it to the reception. It was great to be able to help with some decor - labels, sign-in table and theaforementioned invitations. I didn't last too long - neither did the little girls - but, the part of the reception we made was lovely. Some pictures of the event:
Jason's side of the family
All the little girls who just wanted to be as beautiful as Hannah.
Really, we could not keep them off her - "She's so beautiful!"
It's those sneaky, tender moments that are the best.
Hot chocolate bar that Laura bused and I helped decorate

Monday, January 16, 2012

Stenciled: Finally

Well, I started the process in March and have had the beautiful stencil hanging out under my bed for 9 months.  At least the wall has been green for a while. Today, while we were stuck home potty training Eliza, Jason and I stenciled the wall.  I stuck with the mock-up I made 2 months ago and Jason and I started by taping up the grid we would follow to get the spacing correct.  Yes, I am a perfectionist.
We used Elmer's spray adhesive (sprayed on one time for every 4 stencils), a stencil level, a small foam roller and the instructions from the place we purchased our stencil.  It worked beautifully.  The whole process of taping the grid and doing the stenciling, including many stops to help the kiddos, took us 6 hours.  But, I definitely think it was worth the time!  This is the look I was going for and I think it is impactful, stunning, but still subtle enough to be classy.
I don't ever think I would do a wall this TALL again.  Dealing with the two ladders - regular and even extension for the top stencils - took the majority of the time.  However, I may stencil again.  Sara is already asking for it in her room because it is "so pretty and cute".